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Monday 13 February 2023

2 years later........

 2021 was a crap year.  

With Covid still hanging still over our heads, the year started off OK and then went downhill rapidly - much like this blog. But two years later, I've decided to start again.  And while this platform no longer suits, it will do until I finish setting a new one up. 

2021, the signs were all there, but I refused to see that my marriage was well and truly over. I think it took losing my baby girl Lola, who crossed the rainbow bridge on 12 March to join Lucas, to finally hit rock bottom and see the reality.  Even then, the rose coloured glasses only came off when the whole sordid truth finally came out. Red flags never turn green. 


So I was free.  Yes, there were tears, pain, anger, resentment, grief and alcohol. Way too much alcohol to numb the pain and forget.  

Friendship.  I realised how blessed I was with some truly amazing friends who came to my rescue. Bubbles and walking and healing.  One of the hardest things to accept, that dreams for the future were now gone. But, it also meant that it was time to start thinking about a whole new future.  

Lockdown. Again. This time living alone.  Actually the alone part was OK. I felt more alone when living with a person who I no longer knew.  Alone meant freedom, even if lockdown took that away.  My bubble buddy and 5km friends #love. My amazing Neighbours. A memorable birthday spent in a park and in an RSL garden, special in so many ways. 

I realised that I was never meant to stay here.  That I was free and whilst Melbourne and Australia would always be home, it was time to spread my wings and fly far, far away. And so the planning began. A return to my birth place a return to find me.


RIP my beautiful Lola  
6 January 2006 - 12 March 2021
 


 






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