Back to Work

Back in February 2022 (where has that year gone – oh yeah, happily travelling), I farewelled Programmed and set off on my year long adventure. I also farewelled job security and a regular income. Gulp. But what the hell, you only live once and I was going to live.

Operation – New Friends

I’m blessed with many wonderful friends – the problem is most of them are too far away for a night out. Now that I’ve decided to stay put for a while (6 months, 6 years NFI, the joys of freedom), it was time to get out there are meet new people. Now it might not come as a surprise to learn, that I’ll pretty much talk to anyone, so off I went on a couple of nights out to see a few bands. Tribute bands are huge here – and the couple I’ve seen (Depeche Mode and The Cure) were excellent. And a couple of ska type bands have been lots of fun too. The problem with that was that people are there to watch the band and not necessarily chat to the lone Aussie. Still enjoyed the nights out.

And then I discovered MeetUp and just like that – instant friends!

Camino Number Two

So what do you do when you finish your first Camino? Hang up your boots? Put down the walking poles? Swear to never do anything like that again? Nope, you decide to do another one, a decision made the moment I walked into the square and stood looking up at that amazing Cathedral.

This time was going to be different. For a start I was going to be joined by Andrea and B (and Dominic towards the end). And secondly, we were going to do the Portuguese Coastal Camino starting from Porto. Also as there were 3 of us, we would be staying in mainly private accommodation. I kind of liked Albergue life, it was a great way to meet fellow pilgrims.

From Hampton to Southampton

It’s been nearly a year since I packed up my life in Melbourne and flew to the UK.  Hard to believe. The time has flown and yet looking back over the year, I’ve managed to do A LOT!  I remember those last few manic weeks before leaving.  Finishing up at work and literally throwing away everything I owned except for a few sentimental bits and pieces that I put into storage.  It wasn’t easy and there were many WTF am I doing moments.  So many memories and dreams all thrown away.  I’d been talking about downsizing and minimising and suddenly there I was completely free. And unemployed.  Gulp, a little scary but it was time to spread my wings and fly away.

It was a little sad leaving my little house by the bay with my amazing Neighbours.  Mixed emotions.  The last home my beautiful Lucas and Lola knew.  But the last year filled with way too much hurt, pain, and anger to remain.

I arrived on a sunny day in London (yep, clear blue sky and gorgeous sunshine), 27 February 2022 and made my way down to Southampton.  First couple of weeks were spent catching up with cousins and playing tourist.  Lesson number one, it doesn’t rain or is anywhere near as cold as I’d expected it to be. 

El Camino

I can’t remember when the idea to walk the Camino popped into my head, but one day, boom, there it was, another crazy idea. I watched the movie “The Way” and read several books and that was it, I was going to walk the Camino for my 60th - years away! 

After the annus horribilis that was 2021 and the decision to pack up my life and move overseas, walking the Camino in 2022 all of a sudden became something that I had to do – a calling of sorts. When I say The Camino, I am referring to the most famous route, the Camino Frances – walking from St Jean Pied de Port to Santiago, a journey of 800km. 

After a 2 year hiatus, the 2023 list is here!

It started off as 31 things to do in the month I turned 50 and then became 50 things to do in the year I turned 50.  Before long, there were over 100 things on that 2015 list and little sub lists had popped up like mushrooms all over the place.  I jotted stuff down stuff on bits of paper, in notebooks (I have a notebook fetish, I am not alone) and friends provided me with ideas to add.

I soon realised that adding things to those lists was half the fun.  So having decided to start up the lists again, I started where I'd left off for 2021.  Not only was 2021 a crap year, but the 2021 list was a sad and sorry sight.  17 out of 44 things completed - maybe not so bad considering lockdowns. 

But I learnt some valuable things.  For a start, I don't particularly like cooking, so why the hell would I want to cook through a cook book? I tried making a mosaic piece - ended up frustrated and didn't really enjoy it, so now I know that I'm not the artsy/crafty type.  

I wanted to learn a musical instrument.  So I got myself a guitar, booked in for some lessons and failed miserably. Arthritis in the fingers and a sore neck - no excuse. Maybe I need to find something easier - like my old school recorder (I think I could still manage "Three Blind Mice") or maybe the triangle? 

And as for picking up Frech again, being fluent in Spanish is good enough for me.

Whale watching on the 31st of July each year was a special thing.  Well I still love whales, the date is now insignificant, but I still want to see whales at any time of the year! 

2 years later........

 2021 was a crap year.  

With Covid still hanging still over our heads, the year started off OK and then went downhill rapidly - much like this blog. But two years later, I've decided to start again.  And while this platform no longer suits, it will do until I finish setting a new one up. 

2021, the signs were all there, but I refused to see that my marriage was well and truly over. I think it took losing my baby girl Lola, who crossed the rainbow bridge on 12 March to join Lucas, to finally hit rock bottom and see the reality.  Even then, the rose coloured glasses only came off when the whole sordid truth finally came out. Red flags never turn green. 

So I was free.  Yes, there were tears, pain, anger, resentment, grief and alcohol. Way too much alcohol to numb the pain and forget.  

How good is 'dis'

On the list - read 26 books this year.  1 down, 25 to go - better get a wiggle on.

After hearing him interviewed a couple of months ago, and with my word for the year being “health” I decided to start the year with a bit of a feel-good read.  The ResilienceProject: Finding Happiness through Gratitude, Empathy and Mindfulness by Hugh van Cuylenburg.

Hugh is a Melbourne boy and a primary school teacher whose passion is building resilience in kids. The book revolves around his trip to Northern India, volunteering and meeting the adorable Stanzin who despite living in an underprivileged community is both happy and positive. So why is that back here in Australia, so many people find it hard to be happy and struggle with mental illnesses?  

Hugh set about finding the answer and recognised the key traits the kids in India had were gratitude, empathy, and mindfulness. And so The Resilience Project was born. He started off running presentations at schools and then took the message wider to the NRL, AFL, Cricket Australia and many other corporate clients explaining how we can all live a happier life.

WE made it to 2021!

 

Congratulations! You survived 2020 and the first week of 2021. 2020, the year that in some ways lasted 12 months and 12 years and in other ways, flew by just as fast as every other year once you reach an “age”. 

We moved into 2021 glad to put the “unprecedented” year that was 2020 behind us. Looking back, it’s hard to believe that so much happened around the world, even if we did spend a chunk of it locked away in our own little bubbles.   

What stood out?  Devastating fires, the initial “excitement/novelty” of lock-down and working from home, the toilet paper crisis, zoom meetings, cooking more at home, cooking less because “we have to do our bit to support local business”, signing up to learn new stuff, not learning new stuff, walking around the block again and again, rainbows and chalk drawings, leggings, PJ's and tracky daks as must have fashion items, realising that nobody even notices you've been wearing the same clothes on rotation for the last 9 months, waving at neighbours, waving at strangers, waving at neighbours/strangers dogs, random household items on nature strips, free books everywhere, a morbid fascination with COVID stats and numbers, bad news addiction, good news addiction, covid calories, crying at “kindness pandemic” stories, crying at happy ending pet adoptions/saving stories, crying over burnt sour dough (hang on a minute, I never actually made any sour dough), cancelled plans, 5km radius, 25 km radius, woo hoo we can travel around Victoria, relief at double doughnuts, optimism.

Then there were the words and phrases that will be forever in our vocabulary.  “You’re on mute” “stay home, stay safe” "social distancing" “mask-up” “unprecedented times” “it’s Ok to not be OK” “get on the beers.” Gotta love Dan! I’m missing his daily updates.

 

And all that without even going into politics and what was happening in the US. But did you know that Macaulay Culkin turned 40? Now doesn’t that make you feel old?

What will be remembered in 100 years? Will the world have learnt anything?  Maybe it’s made us more resilient, better able to adapt to future challenges that will inevitably be thrown our way.  The pandemic isn’t over, far-from it.  2021 isn’t some miraculous turning of a page, forgetting all about the previous year and going back to how things were.  But there is hope and that’s a good thing.

Personally, I have loved working from home and definitely don’t want to go back into an office on a fulltime basis.  Life has slowed down and I’m not in a rush to fill the calendar with stuff.  I like pottering.  I like taking Lola for a slow walk around the block.  I like stopping and chatting to neighbours and patting random dogs. I still haven’t been to a big shopping centre and have no real desire to do so.  I do miss travelling, but who know what international travel will look like over the next few years.  For now, long weekends away are enough.  State borders shutting down unexpectedly are frustrating, but you know what, people are just learning to change plans and be flexible.

This post was actually going to be about Christmas away in Hoddles Creek, but I got slightly side-tracked by looking back over the year and just writing random words.

2021 - a year of HEALTH

Always loved a good list and back in 2015, the year I turned 50, I started the 101 things to do in 2015 list.  That then kind of expanded into a bucket list of all the places and things I wanted to do before I kick the bucket.  Many things were unrealistic but adding to it was nearly as much fun as planning days out to tick things off.

For the next few years, I added and ticked things off regularly.  Then when I had a whole year off, it kind of stalled a bit.  That was back in 2019.  As for 2020, well, let’s not talk about that one.

So I spent some time re-visiting the lists.  Removed a lot of things and started a new 52 things to do in 2021 list.  Plenty of space to add things as the year progresses.  Also as my word of the year is HEALTH, I though I’d better throw in a few things around that.

Still working out what my year of HEALTH will look like – but if Rebel Wilson can dedicate a year to feeling better, so can I.  Of course I need to lose some weight and get fitter.  I just signed up to NOOM.  Actually I started the 2-week trial 2 weeks before Christmas (probably not the best time) and unsurprisingly, haven’t lost any weight – but haven’t gained any, so that’s a win at this time of the year. My 4-month program has now kicked off and I’ve given myself to the end of April to lose 10kg.  Each day you work through a few little psyche tips and quiz’s, weigh yourself and log your food. Which is actually quite scary and makes you much more conscious of what you’re actually eating and in my case that’s not enough vegetables and way too much crap. 

Now in the past, the only commitment I’ve really stuck with is avoiding the gym, so now the challenge is to NOOM each day, walk daily, start the day with 30 sit ups and 30 push ups and do 20 minutes of weights 4 times a week.  Small steps. 

More veggies required.  I’m going to cook through a vegetarian cookbook, with my ultimate goal to stick to a 95% vegetarian diet by mid-year.

What else am I trying to incorporate into my year of health? Daily Meditation.  Dabbled a few times, but pretty crap at it.  So just trying 10 minutes at a time.  Breathe in. Breathe out. Easy. Not.

Also decided I want to go on a little retreat this year.  The ones in Byron Bay look lovely but are expensive and one slight problem is that I don’t really like Yoga, apparently that’s OK.  I also looked at Aruna Giri in Healesville – but then saw that it involved silence and maybe (OK definitely) that’s not for me.  I think I need to start off “lite” so have decided that the 2-night Inner Joy Retreat at Happy Buddha in the Blue Mountains is the perfect beginners retreat.  Now if only we’re allowed to travel……

Oh and to get into the zen mode, I've been reading about and ordered some essential oils. 

I’m also trying to get back into the habit of reading. Somewhere along the line last year, maybe because of no train travel, my reading dropped right off.  Which is a shame, because I love reading. So a relaxed target of 26 books on the list.  Oh and I’m listening to random podcasts when I take Lola out for her little walk each day. 

Not sure where I'm actually going to find all the time to do the above and work, but I'm going to be so friggin healthy, calm and in the moment, that I won't give a fuck.

Turning 55 certainly made me think that if we’re going to hit the road soon as Grey Nomads, we better be ready.

New Year, New Word

New Year’s Resolutions, goals, plans for the year and lists. If 2020 taught us anything, it’s go ahead and make them – but be flexible and be prepared to change them.  If my 2019 list of things to do was neglected, then what can be said about my 2020 one?   

Time to re-visit the lists – not to add anything, but to take things off.  Why? Because 2020 has shown me that my bucket lists need to be smaller. Do I really want to “Visit the Kennedy Space Centre in Florida” or “Drive a Ferrari/Maserati/Lamborghini?” No.  I don’t even like driving.  Because 2020 was a year to re-evaluate what’s important and what’s not.

I also like to choose a word for the year.  My word for 2020 was BEGIN.  Maybe it should have been STALLED. Do I keep the same word for a second year and take 2?  Do I choose a new word? 

I revisited the great list of words I had last year, deleted a few, added a few and still have a long list of possibilities:

FLEXIBLE	RISE	ENOUGH	ACTION
KINDNESS	RESPECT	DETERMINATION	CHANGE
CALM	CARE	STRENGTH	DIRECTION
CHALLENGE	HEALTH	LISTEN	POSITIVITY
FOCUS	ACCEPT	RELEASE	CONFIDENCE
BEGIN - 2020	FREEDOM - 2019	BRAVE	DIRECTION
HOPE	ENERGY	PRESENT	LEARN

Once again, I narrowed it down to 5 and then waited for one of them to jump out at me. I’m leaning towards HEALTH.  A year to focus on improving my health. And I think I'll keep Begin - because I kind of feel it didn't get a chance. 

You'll Never Walk Alone

 

My current work set-up (dining table in the lounge) is right next to a large window giving me a good surveillance point for all the comings and goings of neighbours and their dogs. I feel like like a Spanish Abuela peering over a geranium covered balcony.  I recognise the regulars by their dogs rather than their mask covered faces and occasionally wave when they happen to glance in.  We’re all nosey like that – looking in at windows.

Read the above quote today and it got me thinking about all this walking. Maybe not today because the weather was crap, but on most days, there is more foot traffic than ever before.  Of course, with our limited freedom, it seems a shame to waste it and it’s a small attempt at reducing the extra chocolate calories going straight to my arse.  Sounds right in theory, not sure my input is being offset by my output.

All this additional walking around our 5km must be a good thing right?  We’re meeting neighbours with a wave and a muffled hello. Emilio has spent so much time out in the garden/garage that he’s picked up several new clients and had a lovely lady drop off a bottle of Spanish wine – she has a collie.

So if Nietzsche got it right, there should be a lot of great thoughts and ideas out there right? Could it be that over the next few years we’ll see a huge surge in - well everything really.  Or are people just walking about thinking what’s for dinner, dreaming of their next holiday and wondering how the hell they’re going to survive any more home schooling before turning into complete alcoholics.

Some people make phone calls (pays listening in, never know what juicy titbits you might discover about Ms Jones on the corner), some listen to podcasts and some to music. I now have a fancy new pair of wireless, noise cancelling ear buds thanks to Emi, but I only ever wear one ‘cos I worry about being reversed into and missing out on those juicy conversations.  I’ve been trying to get better at keeping in touch and making a phone call whilst on my walks, but sometimes the lure of late 70’s/80’s music is too strong and I have to play it – loud as possible.  I like to sing- a-long and maybe break out a dance move.  Do people look and think, that’s the crazy lady from number 5? Probably not. People are caught up in their own lives to really give a second glance at anyone else. Unless you’re not wearing a mask – then you get the “death stare.”  I religiously wear my mask.

Crikey, side tracked. Crikey? I don’t think I’ve ever used that word before. Where did that come from? Maybe because Bindi Irwin was in the news this week with a gender reveal.  Bit strange describing the size of her unborn daughter as a hatchling Aldabra tortoise.  How big is that? Are we talking baby mice size or new born pug puppies?  Anyway, all the best to them.

Back to walking. Sometime during my year of unemployment/freedom, I came across the wonderful Women on Walks group run by the inspiring Annie.  I wrote a story about the group a while ago.  With group walks currently off the table, Annie came up with a plan to keep us walking and connected by setting little challenges and counting virtual kilometres. 

The first lot of challenges were taking photos of “things.” Gates, door, paths that sort of thing.  All of a sudden I started noticing things I’d walked past countless times before and paying attention. We weren’t just walking around, we were on a super important mission.  We moved onto numbered letterboxes. Low numbers are easier than the high ones. The disappointment was real when after walking 15 minutes along a street, the number was missing.  I found myself walking down streets I never knew existed. I even got a little bit lost one day and admit to having to look at google maps. And now we are just finishing off letters.  So much creativity and virtually we’ve been around Australia, New Zealand, over to China and ended up in Portugal.  All our stops have been documented with awesome info and pics of all the places we visited along the way.   

Looking forward to meeting up with all the WOW’s on a real walk soon. In the meantime, I’ll keep walking and waiting for all those great thoughts to just come flooding in. 

MOJO Month

Extra time, check. Motivation, MIA. 

These last four months have just flown by and I can't say I've completed my best-seller, written a ton of articles, become an expert baker, learnt any fabulous new skills, read a heap of books, got crafty, got fit (fat maybe) or done anything that feels particularly productive.

Whilst Lockdown 1.0 had some novelty about it, this time around, well the novelty has definitely worn off and like most people, I'm over it.  However, unlike the covidiots (WTF are some people thinking) out there, I'm more than happy to wash my hands, wear my mask, stay close to home, socially distance and do whatever we need to do to stay safe and get "over this" - whatever that means.

Lockdown 2.0 is definitely leading me down a path of laziness and procrastination, so time to kick my own butt into gear and at least try and get my writing MOJO back. So I've signed up for MOJO month with the Australian Writers Centre. Here we are Day 1, the main theme being stepping beyond your comfort zone.  "The comfort zone is a beautiful place - but nothing grows there"

Under Operation, our mission for today, should we choose to accept it, was to create an Acrostic using our names to introduce ourselves. Geez, I gave myself 15 minutes and it was harder than it should have been:

Joyfully Usurping Laziness Impatiently Awaiting

Adventure New Travel Inspiration Growth Ushering Exciting Days And Dreams

A blast from the past - 9 October 2014 in Kathmandu

I started this blog as a place to write and record places visited. Since then, it's become a hotch-potch record of life.  Eventually, I'll even try and group things. For now, a random post.

This story was written a while ago and begins not on the day that The List was started, but on the 9^th of October 2014 – my 49^th birthday.  We were in a hotel room in Kathmandu, Nepal where we had spent the last four days exploring this mad, dusty, busy, colourful city.  The night before we had met our travel companions, eleven people of all ages and walks of life that we would be spending the next two weeks with and our guides. 

Opening the curtains and flicking on the kettle, the sun was just rising and the city awakening.  When Emi wished me a happy birthday, one of my first thoughts was "holy fuck, the next birthday would be the big five zero.  I’ve never really given much thought to my age, I certainly don’t feel “old” and I don’t act my age.  Is that a good or a bad thing? 

A yoga session was the first “activity” on the agenda and I joined some of the others in our group for a bit of breathing and stretching.  Balance has never been my forte, hence I’m crap at yoga and there was no way my stomach was ever going to be able to do the “rolling” that our instructor seemed to be effortlessly doing.  My attempt was rather more like a spare tyre bouncing around between fits of the giggles.  But never mind, may as well, limber up for the trek ahead and a bit of mindfulness never goes astray! 

After breakfast, we set off for our tour of Kathmandu.  Starting thirty minutes late was possibly a sign of the day ahead. Of the four places we were visiting, we’d already been to two, so we were looking forward to our first stop, Pashupatinath Temple, one place we hadn’t visited. 

Our tour guide for the day was a smiling man (we think he may have been sipping something slightly stronger than chai), who told endless bad jokes and only stopped mid-sentence to answer his constantly ringing mobile phone.

The Pashupatinath Temple is a large sacred Hindu temple complex on the banks of the Bagmati River.  It’s also a crematorium where the dead are burned and their ashes pushed into the water.  It may seem a strange place to visit as we would be witnessing some of the cremations taking place, but the complex is open to tourists and charges an entrance fee, so I guess they must be OK with it.

After a short walk around, we were asked to wait at a spot across the river where we could see several bodies in various stages of the “burning” process.  There had been a mix up and we were waiting for another group to join us, hence all the phone calls.  When the second group arrived, we walked around some more, our guide providing some information between awful jokes. 

Standing on the bridge with the body of an old lady being prepared by her family and the lighting of the torch that was then used to light her mouth was morbidly fascinating.  Felt slightly uncomfortable witnessing these peoples grief, rather like intruders, but couldn’t look away.  Like slowing down at a car accident scene.  

Other areas around the complex were made up of some interesting temples and structures and after what seemed like a long time in the one place, we headed back to our bus. 

From here we headed to the Great Stupa, known as Boudhanath.  Now this was one of the places we had already visited so were quiet happy to head back to the lovely Spanish restaurant “Casita de Boudhanath” that we had found on our previous visit and watch the colourful crowds with a couple of local beers. 

We had arranged to meet back at the main entrance after an hour and at the appointed time, we dutifully returned and waited. And waited and waited.  One of the drawbacks I guess of organised group tours, but waiting for over an hour in the hot afternoon sun was not really the way I had wanted to spend my birthday. 

Just as we were about to jump in a taxi and leave, we finally spotted someone from our group.  They hadn’t left us, we weren’t standing at the wrong gate - they just had their own delays at the place they’d stopped for lunch.  After another 20 minutes rounding everyone up, we were on our way.

Next stop was Patan, across the Bagmati River and not too far from Kathmandu. And like Kathmandu, Patan also has a gorgeous Durbar Square full of temples, palaces and statues. A very quick visit to the Patan Museum and the Golden Temple, but sadly we just didn’t spend enough time here to discover and look around. A place to one day return to. 

Rushed back on to the bus, our last stop was Swayambhunath, commonly called Monkey Temple. The complex consists of a large stupa at the top of a hill surrounded by various shrines and temples. Luckily we had visited a few days earlier and had time to wander and explore after climbing up the steep front steps before realising that there was an easier way up at the back.  But good practice for the many steps that lay ahead.  Sadly the cute monkeys that we had spent an hour watching diving into the monkey swimming pool, had decided that the pool was closed for the day.  It is a beautiful place and the view over the city of Kathmandu as the sun went down was well worth the repeat visit.

On the bus on the way back to the hotel, we were at least two hours behind schedule.  Everyone was tired and hungry, lunch not having been a success.  Finally headed out for a late birthday dinner.  Third Eye was a fabulous Indian restaurant where we had a corner table sitting on cushions.  Great food and a lovely dessert with a candle bought out by the friendly waiters made for an enjoyable evening. 

Feeling full and somewhat apprehensive about how the rest of the tour would go, we waddled back to the hotel and went to bed.  Happy birthday to me!  Certainly an eventful and unique day and not too many people would be able to say they had spent part of their day watching bodies being cremated.

One day, I'll get around to including some of the stunning pictures that Emilio took.

Happy 49th Birthday to me!