On Tuesday we bid our final farewell to our Lucas although he will forever be in our hearts. We had already decided that we did not need to keep his ashes and we wanted to spread them out in the sea.
So we headed to Hampton beach, the place where he lived out his final days happily splashing in the water and chasing his ball. It's a shame he didn't get to enjoy living so close for longer. Mark, Anna, Andrea and Belinda accompanied us along with Lola and Buddy. It was a wet wintery day, but at that moment the sun shone. We sprinkled his ashes, we threw the beautiful wreath of white roses that Emilio had made, we threw in his collar and another ball, because we always had to have 2 with us for him. Saying goodbye was hard, so many wonderful memories.
We ate roast chicken and salad rolls in his honour. There was a whole roast chicken left over and I'm sure he was looking down on us and thinking that chicken is mine. It was a special day, for a very special friend.
Lola has been acting a little out of sorts. Maybe as his smell fades, she is finally coming to terms with the fact that he has gone for good. She has taken to sleeping on his corner of the couch, on his bed in our bedroom and to following us around more than she used to.
Today I went to the library to drop off a book. As I was heading out a book caught my eye. "There are no sad dogs in heaven". Now I'm not sure I believe in heaven, but I took it out. Maybe another sign, or maybe I'm just seeing the signs I need to see to make sense of the loss and find comfort.